Found out Monday that I'm 3 weeks almost 4 weeks pregnant! They said my estimated due date is August 16, 2014! Time for me to really grow up and be the mommy that God wants me to be!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Really thinking hard on going back to the streets. Back to my old clients. Back to getting what I need the only way I can right now. Time to get their numbers. Or at least 2 of them. I need money and can't find a real job. What else is there to do? Wait on God? I need money now! Phone bill. Gas money. Headstart fee. I just need to make this money.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
I hear the cries from hell. I see the demon itself. What am I to do other than pray and read the bible? I just want to die. Someone kill me now. I cannot handle this. I just want to scream!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
If I so much as hear about one more mother fucker putting their god damn hands on my mommy. Ima cut a hoe. You only seen the nice side of me. Bitch don't let me get ratchet 'cause I can get ratchet too. Now let a hoe try Indonisha Nicole Clark! I will be in Memphis pretty soon and don't be the reason I come with my hair in a pony tail and fighting clothes on. Ima stomp you in you fucking face. I don't play when it comes to the ones I love. These bitches just don't know. I'll fuck they asses up with the quickness! Dumn ass duck ass dicks!!! Ugh, I'm so fucking mad!!! Trying not to show it because I gotta perform tonight! UGHHHHHH!!!!!! Don't think I won't beat a bitch!! I'll miss my concerts, fail my class, come to Memphis and whoop your mother fucking asses! Now bitch try me!!!! Ian running from no one!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
I am such a burden on people. Why can't I just be normal? Why won't the hallucinations just go away? I just want people to like me and not think I'm a burden. My biggest fear is for everyone INCLUDING God to turn their backs on me because they are tired of dealing with me and my crap. Me and my illnesses. My schizophrenia.Just ME in general. I've decided to withdraw from the world and go back to holding everything in. *sigh*
Signed, A Burden to All
Friday, September 27, 2013
What is wrong with me? My math grade is dropping. I'm killing myself. Slowly, but surely I am. Eating less than 600 calories a day. But do you want to know what scares me the most? What scares me the most is that I don't care. Like I seriously don't care. That scares the living crap out of me. I want to be able to take care of myself physically and emotionally. What to do? What to do? That's a question I ask everyday. If my stomach doesn't grown then I won't eat. that's just how I work. I know it is really bad for me but when I try to force myself to eat I end up sicker than I was when I didn't eat. Life is like a dream I can't wake up from. Some good, some bad. I hope I get over it. Well the bad dreams at least. I just want to be happy again like when I was eight and use to look up at the clouds and feel peace. I want those moments again. Growing up sucks eggs. SERIOUSLY!