Nicole and Tori's Adventure

Nicole and Tori's Adventure
She is my world and my motivation. I cannot imagine life without her. Since the day she was born, she has always been the reason I breathe. I love you Tori!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Being Me

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I can't keep living like this. Pretending to be okay all the time. Only showing people one emotion ( happy ). That's not real. That's not me. I want to be happy but I'm not. I'm so tired of pretending but I'm more afraid to remove the mask and show what's underneath. Every single night I fight the urge to end it all. I win the battle but the battle leaves scars. Too ashamed to tell anyone what is going on I put on a smile and be the girl who everyone knows as always being happy. There is no room for any other emotion. Lately I've been having days where I am very quiet. It's the cracks in my mask that expose the real me. I quickly seal the cracks and return to pretending to be happy. If you knew the things I'm going through you wouldn't have words to say. I'm at war. Fighting for my life. There are small victories and there are also many losses. Things seem to be getting harder and harder to deal with. Who am I? What does it feel like to be me? Words cannot begin to describe what it's like to be me.

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