Inside I'm Dying

Ecclesiastes 7:3 say, " Sorrow is better than laughther. For by sadness of the face, the heart is made glad."

I try so hard to maintain a cheerful attitude, but inside I'm dying. Holding in the tears and pain, trying hard to fight it. Tears I haven't released for more than ten years, causing my heart to drop. Pain, terrors, nightmares make my heart stop. I'm dying on the inside because I won't shed tears and release all the bad things that I've held in for years. I can't tell my mom, nor teacher, nor friend. It's something I have to start and continue til the end. I'm dying on the inside. I don't know what to do. I wonder if I'll live or die, holding in these tears.

What I keep telling myself

I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiul. God Loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my exiatance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. he cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. i am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me, He cares about my existance. i am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves mr. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. god loves me. He cares about my existance. I am beautiful. God loves me. He cares about my existance. 

A Mask is Worn

You never know what's going on in a person's life. Someone could be going through hell at home. They could be getting abused or anything. Sometimes they don't have parents. SOMETIMES all they want to hear is that they are loved and NOT alone. SOMETIMES all they need is a hug and for someone to say they care for them. You NEVER know what someone has been through. Maybe they've been molested, maybe they've seen someone they truly care for killed, maybe EVERYDAY they are called the mistake, maybe just maybe sometimes they try to end their life. I promise you that a fake smile can hide a billion tears.

You never know what's going on in a person's life.