I left on April 4, 2013 and was freed on May 10, 2013. Why do I still feel super depressed? I try to put a smile on my face but those are rare. I can honestly say that I do NOT want to commit suicide. Being away and in those places made me feel isolated and misunderstood, which I were. They stand over me, watching, listening, causing my body pain from the inside out.I try not to move, not to say anything that would upset them. I try not to breathe. People try talking to me, but sometimes I can't hear them because "they" are yelling at me, telling my to cut deep and let the blood flow. "They" tell me that I'm not worthless and not worthy of love, not worthy of living. I just want them all to go away. I want to be normal. I want to be happy. I want to experience true joy. I'm so tired of masking my feelings. I want to be able to go at least a day without seeing "her" and hearing "them" and being depressed and hurt, but I guess change takes time.
Nicole and Tori's Adventure
She is my world and my motivation. I cannot imagine life without her. Since the day she was born, she has always been the reason I breathe. I love you Tori!
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