I smile and laugh like everything is okay, but the truth is...I can't get it out of my head....I hear the gunshot over and over and over again. I hear the phone hitting the floor then next his body hitting the floor....last night I dreamed that while on the phone with him I traveled through the phone and I was there with him right as he shot himself. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak. I screamed but not a sound came out....I saw his brain get blown out of his head and watched, in tears, as his body fell to the floor. I watched in horror as his blood formed a huge puddle until it was all around my feet. I remember seeing his lifeless body laying there on the floor and there was nothing I could do to bring him back....I just think that maybe I could have said something differently...maybe I could have tried to contact him earlier in llife to check up on him...I could have done SOMETHING.....sigh....just the life of an american teenager
Nicole and Tori's Adventure
She is my world and my motivation. I cannot imagine life without her. Since the day she was born, she has always been the reason I breathe. I love you Tori!
