My Angel Baby

I never got to see your eyes,

or hold your hand, or hear your cries.
All I have are dreams of you,
those of which, will never come true.
My heart sank the day that I knew,
I would never get to meet you.
I had made plans, and had aspirations,
if only I had a little more patience.
I never thought the Lord would take you
away from me so soon.
But, I'll never forget that dismal day,
around two in the afternoon.
The day I knew something was not right,
and through many tears I would have to fight.
Now, all I do is dream every night,
about what life would have been like.
What if you really had been born?
But all we have are dreams of that,
and all we can do is mourn.
We will not mourn for you though,
because we know you're where you need to be,
even though it isn't here with me.
You are my angel baby because God wanted you with Him.
Now, forever with his angels, His praises you will sing.
None of my dreams for you will ever come true,
because of that day God chose to take you.
But, my angel baby you will always be,
in my heart forever, forever a part of me.

Alaina Marie- December 31, 2013

Caring Hurts :'(

Around, all around, the dark memories gather.
My dread grows as the dagger of your words falls against my naked soul.
It mutilates me, and darkly my
blood drips
to the wicked earth that is my prison.
In numbness I cry out
while nothingness follows.
Now alone, my soul falls upon darkened eyes.

This is because of you

Emily

She stands there, tormenting me! Terrifying me! Covered in blood, she is! Black Hair, which covers her face but you can clearly see her black eyeballs. I hear her voice yet she has no mouth to speak. My body shakes, my knees are weak. I fall to the ground, trying to catch my breath. My, body's too weak to take one step. She chants this horrid chant that sends shivers down my spine. "Two souls, one body. One must die, you're mine!" She chants, They scream, I cry, She bleeds. There they are, loud as can be! My head starts throbbing, my ears bleed. This demon, this child, this girl, wow! My heart stops and I can't breathe whenever I see poor little Emily!

My Sense of Humor...Weird

While Jumping on the bed,

she fell and hit her head.

Her foot hit a shell,

She screamed and yelled,

Now she's covered in red!

Nothingness

Should I say or should I not?
Should I go or should I stay?
Will running away help?
Will they find me if I hide?
Pure terror strikes me like a dad beating a wife!
Temptation hits but I refuse to get the knife!
She's here! She's here! Taunting me!
No clue why she's haunting me!
I feel like screaming, but my words won't work!
I feel like running, but my legs are frozen!
Fear is inside me, but why do I fear?
I should NOT be afraid, but fear is real!
Not much to say.
Not much to do.
I try to pray.
Lord, I need you!

From Victim to Victory

I'm daddy's girl but not in the way you think

He walks in the room, my heart suddenly sinks

Terrible truths run around in my head

Because in just a few hours he'll be in my bed

Kicking, screaming, crying, hurt

Pain in my heart, rips in my shirt

Now and forever you'll be a conniver

But I'll always consider myself a surviver

Washing my clothes repeatedly

Scrubbing the foul while rinsing my sheets

But in the end, the truth will come out

Momma believe me, show me no doubt

Show me there is gold over the rainbow

Speaking the truth I should not be afraid of

Fear when I lay my head to rest

Pounds in my heart, face covered with sweat

I swallow my pride and grasp for my help

I'm striving for greatness, I'm taking these steps

I shall write out the process

But until I do better, my body will not rest

Counseling and treatment are easy to speak of

I'm getting through Hell 'cause I'm a believer

I believe in the things I've progressed in

Progress is always a good thing

But when I read God's word I realize I can't fly with one wing

I will be an overcomer someday

By ignoring the bad things that people say

By focusing on my hopes and dreams