Nicole and Tori's Adventure

Nicole and Tori's Adventure
She is my world and my motivation. I cannot imagine life without her. Since the day she was born, she has always been the reason I breathe. I love you Tori!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

01.03 Materials and Free Choice

Fiction is my favorite genre and Non-fiction is my second favorite genre. I strongly agree with that statement because I am always reading books from these genres.The last thing I read and enjoyed was my favorite novel by Francine Rivers called Redeeming Love. It was the most beautiful love story I have ever read. It helped me to understand that no matter what your background is or how much sinning you have done, God always has a plan and a purpose for you life and also that He loves you regardless of your flaws. God has a husband in mind for me but I just have to be patient and wait. This novel will forever be my favorite book because it taught me so much.

Pollution of the Mind

My mind is poisoned. What can I do to help it. The truth is out in the open. I'm lost in my thoughts. Life is like a dream I can't wake up from. I float through a sea of memories. Most of them are bad, but oh well.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Thoughts

Now,  I want to scream at my child-self, “JUST TELL!!!” I guess I'm blaming the little girl I had been for all my pain. If she would have just pushed a little harder, she could have saved us both. So much going through my mind...maybe it's because I'm blaming myself for what happened.......

Repost of My Song :'(

Pain deep inside, trying to hide all these tears.
Crying blood, where is the love that i need?
And all these years, I have been asking what is wrong with me.
Thirteen years, searching for the things that people see in me.

Why Me? Why Me? What have I done?
I don't wanna be used again.
Why Me? Why Me? Of millions, I'm one
who's survived since it began.
Why me? Why Me? Tired of all the privacy!
Nobody to open up to.
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
Oh God, Why Me? (Oh God, Why Me?)

Stuck inside the darkness, can somebody stop this silence
Because this pain hurts more than hurt does,
and all these years, I have been asking what is wrong with me.
Thirteen years, searching for the things that people see in me.



Why Me? Why Me? What have I done?
I don't wanna be used again.
Why Me? Why Me? Of millions, I'm one
who's survived since it began.
Why me? Why Me? Tired of all the privacy!
Nobody to open up to.
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
Oh God, Why Me? (Oh God, Why Me?)

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Fighting Anorexia

How did I get here, to this dark, depressing place? Up all hours of the night vomiting out my life. I want to get better but my body's getting worse. I lost three more pounds and even worse I still don't feel beautiful. What's wrong with me? Why can't I change me? Tears forming in my eyes and I don't know what to do. I am in so much pain, I can't express it. Physically, emotionally, mentally. This pain I feel inside makes me want to give up on life, but I can't. I have to overcome and be someone better, someone beautiful, someone bold and strong, someone fearless and willing to take chances, someone confident, but most of all, I want to be someone HEALTHY.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Health

Pain feels my body, devouring my soul. Anorexia is alive and well. I fight it everyday but I'm going to get some help with this anorexia thing.